Asking for the dance.

In most places where lovely ladies perform magic on poles, you are probably approached repeatedly throughout the night. However, let’s say that you’re not being approached or the one dancer you’ve wanted to dance with has not been available or not come over.

Scenario1 – Dream Dancer is not available

This happens on discount dance nights. A LOT. First and foremost, you can’t hate the player, you can only hate the game. If homey came in earlier in the evening and bought Dream Dancer’s time for the evening, hey, next time get your ass up there sooner. However, there’s usually security by the VIP hallway. Kindly ask said large bouncer man if he could let Dream Dancer know you would like a dance when she’s available. Let him know where you’re seated and thank him. Shake his hand or fist bump whatever but acknowledge his help. More times than not, if she frees up, he’ll point you out or even lead her over to you. Relax and if it doesn’t work out, don’t be a dick.

In some places, you may ask what dancer’s schedule is and possibly catch her on another night.

Scenario2 – Dream Dancer has not approached you all night.

This happens although most dancers, especially the very professional and very good, will eventually hit up every man in the club. Well, she missed one – you. So, if you’re feeling her that much, get off your ass and approach her. Few rules –

DO NOT approach her when she’s talking to another customer.

DO NOT grab her by the arm, you can tap her on the shoulder or touch her elbow gently and then pull back letter her know this was only to get her attention. Not creep on her.

IF she is at the bar, offer to buy her a drink and ask her for a dance when she’s done with the drink. You can even joke (if you have the communication skills) about how she’s missed asking you all night. Laugh and see if you can get the humor connection with her. Ask her name. See if she’ll sit with you while she finishes her drink.

IF she is standing on the wall waiting for the next client. Move quickly and talk to her. Ask her for a dance but offer to buy a drink first. Relax. Breathe.

Above all, the keys to the game are respect, communication and sincerity. She knows you find her attractive or why would you be talking to her. What she doesn’t know is how cool you are, let her discover that and watch your experience better as time passes.

— JS

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