I remember my first time to at a strip club. I was clueless as a hell.

Or as a good friend informed me, “I was clueless as a muthafucka.” And truer words were never spoken. Yet, this good friend of mine took the time to show me the ropes and I’m a better man for it. And I feel it is my duty to impart his learned wisdom which has been practiced and used to elevate many an night and experience at the club.

Lap Dance Etiquette #1 (LDE#1)


Seriously, sounds simple but it’s not. My first time at a gentleman’s club, I was wound tighter than a drum. Naked women dancing for my twenty-something year old self. I was respectful but I swear I was receiving everything I saw and heard at a jillion miles per hour.

Because I was wound tight, I was asking a thousand questions, wondering all kinds of weird scenarios, missing queues from the waitresses and dancers and I was second guessing every damn decision I made or didn’t make.

For example, I received a free drink pass at the door but the waitress at the bar told me they had a one drink minimum. My logic circuits fried and I gave the poor waitress a math problem.

My buddy looked at me and told me “Jackson…relax.” So I took a big breath and stopped fucking talking so much. I relaxed. I stopped trying to chase dancers down for a dance and I sat back and let them come to me.

I took time to enjoy the dancer’s company before trying to race to the dance or the VIP section.

I learned about the club from the security guy.

I ordered the bartender’s signature drink that no one ever took time to order. And I made sure she knew I enjoyed it.

I relaxed it helped me slow down and enjoy everything. I was able to marinate the experience and savor every moment. Eventually, I became “that guy” at the club – the one who dancers, bouncers, managers and servers enjoyed seeing walk in. I still learn from those better than me – after all, game recognizes game.

The more relaxed you are, the better vibe you send out. The better the vibe, the more dancers and others will feel comfortable approaching you.


— JS

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